This morning, I woke up and got ready for work, not really concentrating on anything in particular. Get to work, and I’m instantly drained, despite the constant intake of Diet Dew and coffee. Want proof? Already this morning, I have spilled yogurt on myself, forgot my car keys/umbrella/work badge and made three separate trips in the rain from my garage back to my apartment.
After my emotional roller coaster from my boyfriend leaving the states for a year to LSAT pressure to work and my upcoming senior year, my life is not easily set in focus. Wouldn’t it be nice if your mind worked like a well-tuned camera, going macro to micro and zoom at the simple twist of a lens or press of a button? Not to mention the cameras with auto-focus. Hell, I want to be a camera. Things are made so much clearer and simpler, and you see reality from whatever angle you choose.
In lieu of this idea, I need to focus more on the things I need to accomplish right now instead of worrying about things in a year or a month or even three weeks. I need to stop worrying about things I have no control over, and start taking over the parts of my life I can control. This started with me standing up to my mother and applying for my passport on Tuesday. I am going to live my life and be happy with it. Derrick once told me that he lives his life so that at the end of each day, he can say that if he died that day, he would be happy with his life and his day. I need to make an effort to do the same.
Here’s to focus, to clarity and to the proper development of me as a person.
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