Confidence and kindness

It’s tomorrow.

Yesterday, that sentence scared me beyond belief, actually to the point of tears.

Today, my mindset has changed. Goodbye, Kleenex. Goodbye, hypersecretion of glucocorticoids. Hello, LSAT.

I had been so scared of the test that I was starting to doubt myself. My last practice test didn’t go over as well as I’d have hoped, but thanks to the support of family and friends, my confidence is renewed. Tomorrow is another day, and I am prepared.

Prepared – what a word! I didn’t take a prep course, just practice books and Saturdays spent at the library with a timer. But I prepared well, I think. There comes a point when preparation is all you can do, and there’s no more preparation to be done.

Here are two quotes that I love (and I love quotes):

Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control. – Richard Kline

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation. – Arthur Ashe

I am confident. I am prepared. I am ready.

Why let a ScanTron scare you from success? It’s just paper, bubbles, and charcoal-colored remnants of a No. 2 wooden pencil. I am no less of a person if my score is lower than expected. I am intelligent and confident, combined with preparation, to follow through.

The support of family and friends has been so great. Derrick, I couldn't have made it through yesterday without your reassurance. You're amazing. The one word you have described me is "determined," and with that determination I will do this. Erin, I couldn't have asked for a better roommate to put up with my griping and for taking away my prep books last night so I wasn't tempted. Mom and Dad, thank you for your support from your calls, texts and emails from yesterday and today.

I also got some advice from a UNI student who took his LSAT in June and shined on test day: "On test morning just look at yourself in the mirror and say, 'I'm the baddest mother @#%$^& in the world and I'm going to rock this test.' You've done the work now its time to go fill in some circles and get the score you deserve." For the record, I will do that in the mirror at 6 a.m.

SLU law, here I come.

The American Non-Idle and Post-Its

The reason my blog has been absent this week is due to the fact that my schedule has been intense. Unfortunately, that is not expected to change for at least the next 10 days.

There’s a quotation from Thomas Jefferson that states: "Determine never to be idle … It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing." To be blunt with myself, I take this quote far too seriously most days.

Almost every day these past few weeks – and especially this past week – my planner has taken a beating. Not only is every centimeter of writable space been filled for each calendar day, but I have also resorted to adding at least one (sometimes two or three) post-it notes with additional to-dos, appointments and assignments. Simply put: these high heels have been running feverishly lately.

Tonight, I am running errands quickly before meeting Caitlyn to do a 35-minute practice LSAT section. After that, I am finalizing some things for the Delta Theta Phi pre-law fraternity’s Professional Evening next month, which I plan as academic chair. Then, it’s off to Erin’s 21st birthday dinner, which will include some tasty Mexican food (but I am not enjoying a margarita or Cuervo shot due to tomorrow). Saturday (the reason my Friday night will not be in the 21st-esque manner) I am headed to Ames early in the morning for a Kaplan-proctored practice LSAT – the last full-length practice test I will take before the real one on the following Saturday. I have a Delt post-rush BBQ to help with as soon as I get back, and then a TKE post-rush party that I am excited to attend. P.S. – the above events are just a foretaste of the next 10 days or so.

Whew! I hate to seem like I’m rambling or complaining – and looking back at what I just wrote, it seems like I am – so I will sit back, take a chill pill and hopefully be a calmer girl after my real LSAT.

Dumpsters and Victoria's Not-So-Secret

I forgot to inform you of the wonderful Friday morning I had prior to the Britney concert. I decided to be a good girl and take out the trash before heading off to work. Upon throwing the two bags into the dumpster next to my apartment complex, I realized my apartment key had gone along with them ... to the very bottom of this nasty, stinky, sticky dumpster. Reaching for them did no good; standing on my tiptoes and catching my armpit on the rim of the dumpster was also a failed attempt. I had to, in stilettos and dress clothes, climb into this dumpster, which had condensation all over it from the early morning dew. To accomplish this task, I had to hobble onto a wooden sawhorse that was about to fall apart and climb in. Disgusting beyond words. I was glad I put on perfume five minutes earlier to mask whatever smells I picked up in there; I also had no time to change before heading off to work, so with a damp tissue I quasi-cleaned my shirt and took the layer of grime off of the soles of my stilettos.

There is more from that day prior to Britney as well. After work, I drove to Dahl's to pick up a few groceries. On my way back, I saw a black, lacy thong sitting in the middle of the 31st Street entrance ramp. All I could wonder was who takes a walk of shame down the intersection of the interstate and 31st Street? It remains a mystery, and reminds me of the blue Victoria's Secret "sexy little things" line thong that appeared a few days earlier just off the lawn of my apartment complex. Victoria - I think you need to work better on that secret of yours.

On Saturday, I took a practice LSAT logic games section with Caitlyn and missed zero questions! Pretty exciting. And the LSAT I took yesterday in the library was in my range again. I am taking a Kaplan-proctored practice exam on Saturday with the hopes of this final prep test to reflect a similar pattern in scores. Only 12 days from now, I will be taking my exam ... oh, my goodness!

Free tickets and a fantastic freak show

I went to the Britney Spears “Circus” Tour show at Wells Fargo Arena last night. Even though my friend, Joanna, got me free tickets, I would have gladly paid $50 or even more for the entertainment I received. The opening act was Jordin Sparks, who has a very good set of pipes. I really enjoyed that she used her backup singers in role-playing throughout her set. Then, the 22-minute wait for the circus began. And let me tell you, it was worth the wait.

The main event started with an actual circus show, complete with about 15 minutes of nunchuk-swinging ninjas to amazing feats of strength to a girl performing unbelievable jumps on a moving/bending balance beam to a legless woman showing her fantastic skills on a trampoline. Then, the hour and a half of Britney started. No one cared that she was obviously lip-synching; the entertainment factor she brought through dancing, wardrobe, etc. well made up for it. I want all of her bodysuits, which were lingerie-inspired. The set was amazing – full of plush chaise lounges, 10-foot-tall picture frames, cages and so much more. She was even put in a magic box where blades are put through her body while in the middle of a song.

The interims when Ms. Spears changed allowed more circus acts and highlights of her dancers. The dancing itself was very promiscuous, enough that I was wondering why there was a 10-year-old girl sitting two seats down from me and not being forced to leave by her mother. It was clothed sex on stage, basically, at some points, but the overall impact of the show was amazing. I danced and danced and sang to her songs. She even did a cover of Alanis' "You Outta Know," which was surprisingly well done.

I honestly thought I was going there to see the train wreck that would ensue at Britney’s expense, but I can also honestly say that this concert was among the best that I have ever been to. It was a freak show, but in an amazing sort of way.

Brahms and Britney

In the last couple of days, amidst the chaotic lifestyle I lead, I have come to find that I really miss back when I used to sing arias and classical/foreign pieces. I lived for those things in high school, taking lessons on a weekly basis and performing in shows and honor choirs and competing in contests. I hope that someday, I am able to sing those kinds of pieces again. It's far too late for me to join any Drake choir (and I am far too busy to do so at this time), and the karaoke bar is no place for Mozart, Brahms or even Phantom of the Opera. I'm not saying that the occasional renditions of "Bohemian Rhapsody" or "I Don't Care" aren't fun, but I love the traditional music, back when people wore corsets and powdered wigs. Maybe I'm weird. Maybe. And just maybe when I'm older I can find a venue or venture in which such vocalizations are appropriate. Until then, I will stick with singing to myself or to popular songs everyone else sings to.

Tomorrow after my internship, I am going to the Britney Spears "Circus" concert at Wells Fargo Arena. I can't wait to see the crazy people there and the inevitable, yet thoroughly entertaining, train wreck that is the pop princess. Thanks, Joanna, for the free ticket!

As of two days ago, I am "depriving" myself of Twitter for a week to monitor how I feel about it through a deprivation study for my PR research class. Funny how I miss pieces of technology when I can't have them. I suppose it's a weeklong quasi-version of Lent. I am glad, however, that I gave up Twitter and not pepper or artificial sweetener - I would have already broken my study several times over if that were the case.

Jackie O and a busy week

On Sunday night, I went to a "Dead Celebrity" party near campus. Yes, this is a little morbid for a party, but just think of the costume possibilities of such a party ... Heath Ledger, Anna Nicole, Michael Jackson, Billie Mays ... so many great ideas. After debating between two celebrities, I settled on Jackie Onassis Kennedy (Jackie O). It was so fun dressing up in big sunglasses, a pill box hat, a cream sheath dress, pearls, flipped out hair, a Chanel wallet ... you get the idea. Erin went as Janice Joplin (perfect for her), Randi as Grace Kelly, Diane as Lucille Ball and Linda as Audrey Hepburn.

So many great costumes were there besides ours, including Anna Nicole, James Dean, Mr. Rogers, Kurt Cobain, Carmen Miranda, Tupac, Judy Garland. Someone even went as "Ashlee Simpson's career" ... haha. Really a very enjoyable night. I even won the costume contest, receiving a random "Bon Apetit" poster and bragging rights as the prize.

Earlier that day, I took another practice LSAT, and I'm hoping that these scores continue to be high all the way through the real deal on September 26 - less than three weeks away!!

So many other things to get done this week, including finalizing my IRB proposal, an honors thesis form, getting letters of recommendation in motion, my law school personal statement, work, quizzes and an upcoming exam, amongst meetings and pre-rush events for several organizations I am an executive member of. Why can't Labor Day weekend be just a couple days longer? That would be fantastic.

Chili and clothing

Shopping is tiresome (but fun). Let me tell you. I woke up this morning at 8 a.m. with the intention of getting a new driver's license that was horizontal and represented my being 21. Little did I know the DOT is closed for Labor Day weekend, so no dice on the ID. Instead, I did a little lounging before going over to the TKE house to eat chili and better-than-sex cake (I don't think the name is appropriate for the cake). The chili was spicy, but so good that I finished two bowls and a small piece of the cake (it's good, but almost too rich of cake for me).

After our bellies were full, Erin, Diane and I went shopping. Diane really wanted to find a dress. Amidst the racks of the first store, I found a Halloween costume - a Disney princess dress that is actually really pretty. That whole "college-girls-must-dress-slutty-for-Halloween" rule won't really apply to me this year. I like the idea of being sexy but not slutty. It's classier.

By the time we made it to Jordan Creek, my feet were killing me from some flat shoes - go figure. So I went and bought a pair of super cute cheap heels to walk around in for the duration of our excursion. Funny how those heels were more comfortable than flats with Dr. Scholls inserts. Must be a sign I need to continue wearing stilettos ... such a burden ...

Erin and I enjoyed playing personal dresser for Diane as we perused the racks for some pretty dresses. As we waited for her to change into each one, we also enjoyed critiquing and commenting on the gaggles of high school girls buying their homecoming dresses. Apparently the style this year is neon colors with animal print and sparkles ... it's an 80's safari on drugs. Not always the best looking. But Diane looked great in several dresses and did purchase one.

After 6 hours in stores, I was a little lightheaded, so we grabbed some caffeine (I got a whole 54 ounces of it) and went back to eat at home. Exhaustion from shopping, oh boy.

Hypnotism and heffalumps

Today was the final day of GuideOne's Charitable Giving Campaign. My manager, who headed up the communications and planning for the event, was gone for the holiday weekend. Thus, I took charge to arrange for the hypnotist to come in and perform at Noon in the cafeteria. The top ten voted managers/supervisors were to be hypnotized, but only seven came up to the stage. The hypnotist wanted an even number, and when no one stepped up out of the entire audience of a couple hundred people to volunteer, I went up and took a seat.

Never being hypnotized before, I was unsure how this would be. But I will do my best to recap my 45 minute hypnotic experience.

• When told to relax/sleep, instead of just relaxing, I bent over in my chair like a rag doll.
• While being "on a plane," the sight I saw outside near Hawaii was none other than a whale - Shamu to be exact.
• On that same plane, we came upon a nude beach. I apparently covered my mouth, grimaced, covered my eyes and turned bright red.
• While riding a Harley from the airport, I was pulled over. My excuse was that I "had a llama in Hawaii, and it was going to have a baby, and I saw Shamu, and I saw this really appalling nude beach that I had to get away from." I was also riding the Harley with my right foot slightly up in the air, as if there was a second gas pedal there (in addition to using the handle throttle).
• Money was raining on me. To get as much as possible, I was shoving it in my pockets, but also in my hair, my cleavage and my mouth. Go me.
• On the beach, we were given a creature. Mine was a baby heffalump, a tiny elephant with wings and was fuzzy. (Just for reference, other given answers were cat and crab).
• I sipped drinks whenever they were offered on the plane, at the beach, and apparently always held them so that they would not spill, even when bending to get something from under my chair. I even offered some to my baby heffalump, who enjoyed the beverage.
• I am apparently an excellent imaginary surfer.
• I was told to tell someone that they were a "bad putty tat" and sit down and lick my hands while wearing cat ears. I did that twice.

All in all, I'd say it was a pretty interesting experience, one that I would try again. The session was taped, so if I get that video, I will be sure to edit this post to have a link to it.

Protestors and poultry

Today, while walking to my PR Publicity class, I noticed PETA protestors outside the McDonald's restaurant on 31st and Forest. They were holding signs that said "McCruelty" and featured pictures of scalded and mutilated chicks and chickens from hatcheries and chicken production plants. One of the girls was sitting in a vat of Hawaiian Punch (yes, I asked) and covered in it, representing a dead, scalded, bleeding chicken.

Yesterday, I found a tweet on Twitter that gave the link to a video of a hatchery inhumanely treating chicks in Iowa. The video was not put out by PETA but by Mercy for Animals; PETA supports the video all the same. It was just a coincidence that that video was released yesterday, but PETA had already arranged to protest in Des Moines today anyway.

Being the persuasive PR students we are, my class convinced our professor that this would be a great opportunity to get in on a live PR event. We went down to the McDonald's and spoke with a lot of the people involved. The store manager would not comment on the situation, just saying that they came in shortly before protesting to say that they were doing so. He took a fellow classmate's information and McDonald's did call him back. Max Maher sent me the transcription of the McDonald's representative, which you can read at the bottom of this post.

At the counter, I heard a worker yell out an order ready for three McChickens. I pounced (not really) over to the young man who took the paper bag of sandwiches and asked him about his purchase. He said that he wasn't even hungry, that seeing the protests made him want to buy the McChickens, so he did. His two friends followed suit. Another gentleman, who had entered the side door and not seen the protestors, said that while he was eating a chicken sandwich, he would not have been swayed to change his decision to eat that sandwich.

Going outside, we spoke with the coordinator of the protest, a girl named Kristina. She discussed the more humane ways of killing the chickens, a process called "CAS," which the burger chain has adopted in Europe and most recently in Canada but not in the U.S. "CAS" is also known as "controlled-atmosphere killing" and is a painless gassing method to kill the birds. While she said it is cheaper for McDonald's in the long-run, one must also take into consideration the costs to the slaughterhouses and hatcheries and the possible rise in chicken prices. Being the country's largest seller of chicken products, McD's is likely to see that as a definite drawback. However, the American Humane Certified said that CAS is not conclusively a humane method of poultry slaughter. Poultry were excluded from the Humane Slaughter Act.

I like being humane to animals, but I'm sorry, no vegetarianism or veganism for me. I eat Boca burgers and tofu, but I like my sirloin steak, Thanksgiving turkey and the occasional 2 a.m. McChicken. And I will continue to do so.

This is the response Max received from McDonald's regarding PETA:

"We appreciate the chance to correct the inaccuracies of PETA's campaign, and to outline the facts about McDonald's animal welfare practices. McDonald's expects humane treatment of animals by our suppliers in every part of the world where we do business.

McDonald's requires our food suppliers to do the right thing - for animals, for humans, and for the environment. Our goal has always been to lead the industry by bringing about improvements in animal welfare including rigorous, ongoing audits of our suppliers' facilities. McDonald's works with leading independent animal welfare experts and makes decisions based upon science to promote continuous improvement in animal welfare as part of our broader sustainable supply chain initiatives.

McDonald's continues to support our chicken suppliers' use of both controlled atmosphere stunning (CAS) and electrical stunning. There is no conclusive scientific consensus that one practice is better than the other, however, we recognize that in either method, good management practices are critical.

It is also important to note that in the U.S., there are no large-scale chicken producers that currently use the CAS method, therefore demands to purchase chickens from this method to meet McDonald's supply needs are not viable."

The ticket and the passport

Two weeks ago, I booked my flight to South Korea to visit Derrick, a guy I have been seeing for about nine months. I will leave from the Des Moines airport in the afternoon on Wednesday, Dec. 23, and get into Seoul at 5:15 a.m. on Christmas Day. I am very excited, as I have never left the country before and am ready for an adventure. I miss him so much, and we have kept in close contact since his departure a month ago ... today marks a full month since I have physically seen Derrick. He is going to plan a lot of fun stuff for us to do when he has the holiday weekend and New Year's weekend off from work, teaching conversational English at a Hagwon in Ulsan, Korea. I won't be back in Des Moines until the 16th of January, leaving a full three weeks for me to explore the country with him. He is even planning a small trip to Japan to see the sights, possibly for New Year's.

The only drawbacks (besides the expensive ticket) are the layovers; one going to Seoul for 11 hours and changing airports in New York, and one in Atlanta for 8 hours on the way home. The jet lag could be fierce, too, but the red eye flight from New York will allow me to sleep, which will be nice.

Another good thing is that I am expecting my passport any day now, after getting an email from the U.S. Government today that it has been finished and is on its way! Now I have the tools needed to make this trip and future trips across seas.

My parents have expressed concern in my leaving the country, but I am hopeful that they will support me in my choice and be glad knowing that I have many ways to keep in contact with them and that I am safe and taken care of, with well-prepared plans, for when I am in Korea.

I am so excited for this trip! I am so excited to do something new and different, which I would like to experience. I don't want to look back 50 years from now and wonder why I didn't travel when I had the freedom to do so. Now, I have started.