Confidence and kindness

It’s tomorrow.

Yesterday, that sentence scared me beyond belief, actually to the point of tears.

Today, my mindset has changed. Goodbye, Kleenex. Goodbye, hypersecretion of glucocorticoids. Hello, LSAT.

I had been so scared of the test that I was starting to doubt myself. My last practice test didn’t go over as well as I’d have hoped, but thanks to the support of family and friends, my confidence is renewed. Tomorrow is another day, and I am prepared.

Prepared – what a word! I didn’t take a prep course, just practice books and Saturdays spent at the library with a timer. But I prepared well, I think. There comes a point when preparation is all you can do, and there’s no more preparation to be done.

Here are two quotes that I love (and I love quotes):

Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control. – Richard Kline

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation. – Arthur Ashe

I am confident. I am prepared. I am ready.

Why let a ScanTron scare you from success? It’s just paper, bubbles, and charcoal-colored remnants of a No. 2 wooden pencil. I am no less of a person if my score is lower than expected. I am intelligent and confident, combined with preparation, to follow through.

The support of family and friends has been so great. Derrick, I couldn't have made it through yesterday without your reassurance. You're amazing. The one word you have described me is "determined," and with that determination I will do this. Erin, I couldn't have asked for a better roommate to put up with my griping and for taking away my prep books last night so I wasn't tempted. Mom and Dad, thank you for your support from your calls, texts and emails from yesterday and today.

I also got some advice from a UNI student who took his LSAT in June and shined on test day: "On test morning just look at yourself in the mirror and say, 'I'm the baddest mother @#%$^& in the world and I'm going to rock this test.' You've done the work now its time to go fill in some circles and get the score you deserve." For the record, I will do that in the mirror at 6 a.m.

SLU law, here I come.

The American Non-Idle and Post-Its

The reason my blog has been absent this week is due to the fact that my schedule has been intense. Unfortunately, that is not expected to change for at least the next 10 days.

There’s a quotation from Thomas Jefferson that states: "Determine never to be idle … It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing." To be blunt with myself, I take this quote far too seriously most days.

Almost every day these past few weeks – and especially this past week – my planner has taken a beating. Not only is every centimeter of writable space been filled for each calendar day, but I have also resorted to adding at least one (sometimes two or three) post-it notes with additional to-dos, appointments and assignments. Simply put: these high heels have been running feverishly lately.

Tonight, I am running errands quickly before meeting Caitlyn to do a 35-minute practice LSAT section. After that, I am finalizing some things for the Delta Theta Phi pre-law fraternity’s Professional Evening next month, which I plan as academic chair. Then, it’s off to Erin’s 21st birthday dinner, which will include some tasty Mexican food (but I am not enjoying a margarita or Cuervo shot due to tomorrow). Saturday (the reason my Friday night will not be in the 21st-esque manner) I am headed to Ames early in the morning for a Kaplan-proctored practice LSAT – the last full-length practice test I will take before the real one on the following Saturday. I have a Delt post-rush BBQ to help with as soon as I get back, and then a TKE post-rush party that I am excited to attend. P.S. – the above events are just a foretaste of the next 10 days or so.

Whew! I hate to seem like I’m rambling or complaining – and looking back at what I just wrote, it seems like I am – so I will sit back, take a chill pill and hopefully be a calmer girl after my real LSAT.

Dumpsters and Victoria's Not-So-Secret

I forgot to inform you of the wonderful Friday morning I had prior to the Britney concert. I decided to be a good girl and take out the trash before heading off to work. Upon throwing the two bags into the dumpster next to my apartment complex, I realized my apartment key had gone along with them ... to the very bottom of this nasty, stinky, sticky dumpster. Reaching for them did no good; standing on my tiptoes and catching my armpit on the rim of the dumpster was also a failed attempt. I had to, in stilettos and dress clothes, climb into this dumpster, which had condensation all over it from the early morning dew. To accomplish this task, I had to hobble onto a wooden sawhorse that was about to fall apart and climb in. Disgusting beyond words. I was glad I put on perfume five minutes earlier to mask whatever smells I picked up in there; I also had no time to change before heading off to work, so with a damp tissue I quasi-cleaned my shirt and took the layer of grime off of the soles of my stilettos.

There is more from that day prior to Britney as well. After work, I drove to Dahl's to pick up a few groceries. On my way back, I saw a black, lacy thong sitting in the middle of the 31st Street entrance ramp. All I could wonder was who takes a walk of shame down the intersection of the interstate and 31st Street? It remains a mystery, and reminds me of the blue Victoria's Secret "sexy little things" line thong that appeared a few days earlier just off the lawn of my apartment complex. Victoria - I think you need to work better on that secret of yours.

On Saturday, I took a practice LSAT logic games section with Caitlyn and missed zero questions! Pretty exciting. And the LSAT I took yesterday in the library was in my range again. I am taking a Kaplan-proctored practice exam on Saturday with the hopes of this final prep test to reflect a similar pattern in scores. Only 12 days from now, I will be taking my exam ... oh, my goodness!

Free tickets and a fantastic freak show

I went to the Britney Spears “Circus” Tour show at Wells Fargo Arena last night. Even though my friend, Joanna, got me free tickets, I would have gladly paid $50 or even more for the entertainment I received. The opening act was Jordin Sparks, who has a very good set of pipes. I really enjoyed that she used her backup singers in role-playing throughout her set. Then, the 22-minute wait for the circus began. And let me tell you, it was worth the wait.

The main event started with an actual circus show, complete with about 15 minutes of nunchuk-swinging ninjas to amazing feats of strength to a girl performing unbelievable jumps on a moving/bending balance beam to a legless woman showing her fantastic skills on a trampoline. Then, the hour and a half of Britney started. No one cared that she was obviously lip-synching; the entertainment factor she brought through dancing, wardrobe, etc. well made up for it. I want all of her bodysuits, which were lingerie-inspired. The set was amazing – full of plush chaise lounges, 10-foot-tall picture frames, cages and so much more. She was even put in a magic box where blades are put through her body while in the middle of a song.

The interims when Ms. Spears changed allowed more circus acts and highlights of her dancers. The dancing itself was very promiscuous, enough that I was wondering why there was a 10-year-old girl sitting two seats down from me and not being forced to leave by her mother. It was clothed sex on stage, basically, at some points, but the overall impact of the show was amazing. I danced and danced and sang to her songs. She even did a cover of Alanis' "You Outta Know," which was surprisingly well done.

I honestly thought I was going there to see the train wreck that would ensue at Britney’s expense, but I can also honestly say that this concert was among the best that I have ever been to. It was a freak show, but in an amazing sort of way.

Brahms and Britney

In the last couple of days, amidst the chaotic lifestyle I lead, I have come to find that I really miss back when I used to sing arias and classical/foreign pieces. I lived for those things in high school, taking lessons on a weekly basis and performing in shows and honor choirs and competing in contests. I hope that someday, I am able to sing those kinds of pieces again. It's far too late for me to join any Drake choir (and I am far too busy to do so at this time), and the karaoke bar is no place for Mozart, Brahms or even Phantom of the Opera. I'm not saying that the occasional renditions of "Bohemian Rhapsody" or "I Don't Care" aren't fun, but I love the traditional music, back when people wore corsets and powdered wigs. Maybe I'm weird. Maybe. And just maybe when I'm older I can find a venue or venture in which such vocalizations are appropriate. Until then, I will stick with singing to myself or to popular songs everyone else sings to.

Tomorrow after my internship, I am going to the Britney Spears "Circus" concert at Wells Fargo Arena. I can't wait to see the crazy people there and the inevitable, yet thoroughly entertaining, train wreck that is the pop princess. Thanks, Joanna, for the free ticket!

As of two days ago, I am "depriving" myself of Twitter for a week to monitor how I feel about it through a deprivation study for my PR research class. Funny how I miss pieces of technology when I can't have them. I suppose it's a weeklong quasi-version of Lent. I am glad, however, that I gave up Twitter and not pepper or artificial sweetener - I would have already broken my study several times over if that were the case.

Jackie O and a busy week

On Sunday night, I went to a "Dead Celebrity" party near campus. Yes, this is a little morbid for a party, but just think of the costume possibilities of such a party ... Heath Ledger, Anna Nicole, Michael Jackson, Billie Mays ... so many great ideas. After debating between two celebrities, I settled on Jackie Onassis Kennedy (Jackie O). It was so fun dressing up in big sunglasses, a pill box hat, a cream sheath dress, pearls, flipped out hair, a Chanel wallet ... you get the idea. Erin went as Janice Joplin (perfect for her), Randi as Grace Kelly, Diane as Lucille Ball and Linda as Audrey Hepburn.

So many great costumes were there besides ours, including Anna Nicole, James Dean, Mr. Rogers, Kurt Cobain, Carmen Miranda, Tupac, Judy Garland. Someone even went as "Ashlee Simpson's career" ... haha. Really a very enjoyable night. I even won the costume contest, receiving a random "Bon Apetit" poster and bragging rights as the prize.

Earlier that day, I took another practice LSAT, and I'm hoping that these scores continue to be high all the way through the real deal on September 26 - less than three weeks away!!

So many other things to get done this week, including finalizing my IRB proposal, an honors thesis form, getting letters of recommendation in motion, my law school personal statement, work, quizzes and an upcoming exam, amongst meetings and pre-rush events for several organizations I am an executive member of. Why can't Labor Day weekend be just a couple days longer? That would be fantastic.

Chili and clothing

Shopping is tiresome (but fun). Let me tell you. I woke up this morning at 8 a.m. with the intention of getting a new driver's license that was horizontal and represented my being 21. Little did I know the DOT is closed for Labor Day weekend, so no dice on the ID. Instead, I did a little lounging before going over to the TKE house to eat chili and better-than-sex cake (I don't think the name is appropriate for the cake). The chili was spicy, but so good that I finished two bowls and a small piece of the cake (it's good, but almost too rich of cake for me).

After our bellies were full, Erin, Diane and I went shopping. Diane really wanted to find a dress. Amidst the racks of the first store, I found a Halloween costume - a Disney princess dress that is actually really pretty. That whole "college-girls-must-dress-slutty-for-Halloween" rule won't really apply to me this year. I like the idea of being sexy but not slutty. It's classier.

By the time we made it to Jordan Creek, my feet were killing me from some flat shoes - go figure. So I went and bought a pair of super cute cheap heels to walk around in for the duration of our excursion. Funny how those heels were more comfortable than flats with Dr. Scholls inserts. Must be a sign I need to continue wearing stilettos ... such a burden ...

Erin and I enjoyed playing personal dresser for Diane as we perused the racks for some pretty dresses. As we waited for her to change into each one, we also enjoyed critiquing and commenting on the gaggles of high school girls buying their homecoming dresses. Apparently the style this year is neon colors with animal print and sparkles ... it's an 80's safari on drugs. Not always the best looking. But Diane looked great in several dresses and did purchase one.

After 6 hours in stores, I was a little lightheaded, so we grabbed some caffeine (I got a whole 54 ounces of it) and went back to eat at home. Exhaustion from shopping, oh boy.